Thursday, September 2, 2010
THE NECKLACE STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING
I have a story to tell you and I just hope you have not completely tired of hearing anything about my son Jake. If you have I do apologize and understand; however, this is so healing for me and I just have to let this out.
On Mother's Day I was out in the backyard getting the leaves skimmed off the top of the pool because I was pretty sure we would have kids over who would want to swim.
Jake and his girlfriend of only a few weeks came walking back there and he had a little gift bag in his hand with a card poking out the top. He kissed me and told me Happy Mother's Day and gave me the bag. In it was one of those big glass lilac scented candles. He was grinning from ear to ear and obviously happy he'd picked a winning gift!
She was quick to tell me that he had actually picked out a Red cranberry scented candle and she made him give it to his step-mother as his REAL mother deserved the nicer one of lavender. He cast his eyes down as she told this story as if feeling that he'd made a mistake in his selection. ( He knew my favorite color was RED and that RED was the birthstone color of both of us ).
So in this small gesture of hers she had succeeded in making him feel bad. Then she quickly showed me that she had signed her own name on my card. And with her drug trembling hands she presented me with a box inside of which was a silver plated necklace with a heart and tiny key with the inscription Mother and she told me that it was from HER and not Jake.
She said I knew you deserved more than an "old" candle, so I got in Jake's wallet last night and took money out and went to Walmart on the way over here and bought this for you. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't quite know what to say and I knew too that he was barely able to make ends meet since meeting her and that he was probably feeling a little desperate knowing she had "taken" money from his wallet that he needed for gas or something essential like food, but said nothing, because he was so taken by her and felt so protective and responsible in some way. He knew she was not "right" and as he explained her to me before I met her "She is SPECIAL". Of course she was telling me that the gift Jake had bought me was not good enough so she took care of that. My heart was sad in knowing she had made Jake feel bad but I was trying to be kind to her so just thanked her and blew it off.
Well it would soon be known in a matter of less than a month that she was into drugs, alcohol and casual sex and was robbing him blind, that she was in fact responsible for the action that caused him to take his own life and that she was a horrible person with no values.
She did not know the Lord and Jake had concerns with this but it was I who had told him even before I met her that she was young and that he could be such a good influence and could lead her to the Lord. Oh my God how I wish I had not encouraged him to befriend her.
My girls told me each time they saw the necklace hanging on my jewelry box after his death to "throw the thing" away, that it was NOT from Jake. I somehow could not bring myself to do it. I felt in some way I needed to torture myself by looking at it and reliving that day. I know this is twisted, but we do strange things in grief and in trauma.
So a couple of weeks ago a package came to me and it was the sweetest little necklace. A custom handmade silver disc pendant with a Garnet birthstone and inscribed on the bottom of the disc was J-A-K-E. It was made by The Vintage Pearl and a gift from one of you blogger sisters who asked to be unnamed. Oh the joy I felt when I opened this gift.
I cried tears of sadness and of joy because this gave me the courage to throw the other necklace in the garbage where it belonged and now I have not taken this off except to photograph it, and I apologize for the poor quality of the lighting. It is truly so personal and special.
So now I have something to wear as a daily reminder of my son close to my heart and something that was truly given in love. Thank you sister. I shall never forget this.
Posted by Mollye at 6:32 AM