SOME SWEET CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

Ho Ho Ho... This was taken when Jake was ten or eleven years old and we attended Benton Presbyterian Church where my father was the choir director. It was a small church and there were probably only about five or six little children so Santa insisted on EVERY kid, big and little sitting on his lap. hmmmmmmm

So of course even though Jake was at the age of being wise in the Santa department, I think he enjoyed sitting on the fat man's lap and telling him his wishes. I think all the "big" kids received Bibles.



Christmas '08. Mike and I took Jake and his friend Nancy from church to the American Rose Garden here in Shreveport where many acres of gardens are decorated in lights. We had a good time. Lots of laughs.



This was also '08 and these were taken in Jake's mobile home. Jake had told me around Thanksgiving time that he had never gone out and gotten his own tree since he and his wife had divorced. I planned to buy a new tree that year so gave him our old one along with lots of ornaments. He put the tree up and decorated it himself and was quite pleased with the results.



His oldest sister Lori and her hubby were in town visiting from Arkansas so we all got together at his house along with his friend Nancy and her two boys and had dinner which Nancy prepared and snacks. We played Scrabble and Jake's favorite Monopoly. He played Christmas Music and we had a really great time. I think Jake loved hosting the party most of all! He had bought tins of Popcorn for everyone that year!





This was the year before Buddy moved to Mobile and I always got tickled at he and Jake together as they were truly as little boys most of the time. Just having fun and enjoying their time together.





I have so many great Christmas pictures of Jake but for now will stop with this one. Jake was showing us all what someone had given him for Christmas and reminding us of the true meaning of Christmas.

Jake just lit up when he could tell someone of Jesus.

This will be a tough Christmas to get through this year but we will do it. I think the hardest part for me will be the fact that Jake will not be walking in my door on Christmas Eve to spend the night on our couch so he could get up early Christmas morning to open his stocking. It will not seem right to wake up Christmas morning to a quiet house with just the two of us. But then again nothing has seemed right since June 17. Maybe we'll go visit Jake's grave and take a little something to leave. Just to have a tiny connection with him.

As the poets write I can look in the sky at night and find the brightest star and say it is my boy or I can stop my pain long enough to say "Thank you God for the years we had with Jake" and then though the pain never leaves and the tears are still there I feel blessed because I know my boy is alive and is still with me in my heart. We have no choice of when our time on earth is over but we make a choice on how we deal with our heartaches.

As far as "getting over" the death of your child..........it is like asking someone who has lost his legs and arms if he is "over" the fact that he no longer can walk or touch something. We will never get over the pain of losing Jake but we will learn to live with it with grace and mercy.

Merry Christmas Jake