NO WORDS NEEDED

THE PICTURE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
IICorinthians 5:17

I went to lunch today (bar-b-que) with girls I worked with at the Cathedral office and we had a good time. It did me good to get out with someone outside of family and I'm so glad they invited me and I'm so glad I didn't make an excuse not to go!

Whew.......I'm burning up here today as our AC condenser went out during the night and we're already at over 100 degrees. I'm waiting on the repairman to get here but big girl Lori came over and unlocked her motor home which is out on the side of our back yard area and we can go in there tonight to sleep if it does not get fixed today.

Hope you all are having a good day. Try to stay cool.
Love ya all, mollye and punkin

I'VE NEVER FELT SO LOVED

(This post will continue to be updated and Thanks to all who continue to sign Jake's online book. To do so click on his picture on the left sidebar and you may also post your picture!)



Thank you Sisters for all the beautiful cards you've taken the time to send by snail mail. They have helped lift our spirits and mean so much. They will be preserved in Jake's Memory Book.



From Cathy Minerva




From Mary Freeman




From Toni Curtis



From Linda MacKean




From Deborah Bonner



From Sue McPeak

"Hankie for my tears"



From Suzie Sroka with felted pin


And from Suzie an original "Suzie Sketch"


And for all of you who have clicked on my left sidebar at the top of the page to sign Jake's online Obituary Guest Book. I thank you so much. My son Buddy has paid to keep the guest book online for a full year so many can sign the book and even post photos and then he plans to order it in a hardbound book for me. I will treasure the book and your comments so very much.

Thanks to:
Cathy Minerva
Sheila Magpie
Anitra Cameron
Suzie Sroka
Deborah Bonner
Suzanne Dutcher
Bevie Sams
Peggy Jones
Bernie Wood
Debbi Pucci
Becky Povich
Debbie Hembree

I have received over 350 comments since the death of my son and for me to tell you Thank You would be just such a gross inadequacy and understatement of what they have meant to us. Most of you have not lost a child and for that I am so thankful because I have never known this level of pain in my life but you have cried with me, prayed for us, written sweet words of hope, encouragement and support and you've patiently read my blogs which were probably so depressing to many. Some of you have lost your own child and you have felt my pain as you did your own and you've helped me see what helped heal you.

I've wanted to visit all of you to give you a personal thank you and a virtual hug, but I'm afraid I have lost track of who I've visited and who I haven't as some days I've begun gung ho and have lost all my steam before the day was half over. I want to know each of you and see your bloggy to know what you're up to. Please write me again!!

I see I have made some new friends on my list of followers and I am so delighted and hope you won't give up on me. I have been known to have a decently funny or informative post from time to time and I'm sure I'll get on back to myself before too long.

You see my faith is great. I know Jesus and I know my boy lives with Him so I cannot stay down for too long. I'll be changed and all our lives will be changed but I will be a stronger person and a more loving person because my son Jake taught me that and he would expect nothing less.

I love you all, Mollye

and so does my Punkin Darlin!

A NEW DAY FOR JAKE'S FAMILY

Hello Everyone! It truly is a new day, a new way and a new beginning on trying to learn how I will be normal again.

My son Jake was laid to rest in a little country cemetery about 125 miles south of here where my husbands family members are all buried. It is small and it is pretty. It will not be conveniente for us to visit his grave but there will be times I'm sure that we can all come together to freshen up and make pretty his final resting place. We all know Jake is not in that grave but just his earthly pajamas.

Jake had a beautiful homecoming celebration funeral at his church where he had served and loved the Lord for more than 15 years. The church was full of family, his church family, co-workers who wept and shared their love. There was a slide show of Jake's life and a music tribute featuring the songs that Jake loved. You could not be there and did not personally know Jake so I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to him.

Jake was my baby and was born January 3, 1970. He was always a good little boy and never any trouble or in any trouble. He never got scolded in school and was liked and loved by everyone. His disposition was sunny, optimistic and friendly. He was a scout and achieved the rank of Eagle Scout at age 14.

In 1990 when Jake was barely 20 he received a blow to the head and suffered a closed head injury and it was also determined at the time that he had a congenital Dandy Walker cyst at the brain stem. He had to undergo neuro surgery.Chances of survival and a quality life if he did survive were not good. He had shunts for the rest of his life.
However God had other plans for Jake and he did survive and he had to learn to walk, talk, eat and all the other skills all over again. He turned down the option of receiving disability as he wanted to be "abled".

Shortly after his recovery he received Christ as his savior and fell head over heels in love with Jesus Christ and remained until his death last week a champion of all souls. Jake was a soul man. He loved soul food, soul music and most of all he was passionate about every soul he met. Passionate about the condition of their soul. You see he truly wanted all to know his heavenly father and of His love for you.

He never met anyone without sharing his love of the Lord but he did it in such a loving, gentle way that he never offended. Everyone knew the Lord when they knew Jake whether he said anything or not by the way he lived his life.

Jake realized he had a love for flowers, plants and had a natural knack for making plants flourish and a keen eye for design so he studied hard for several years having to re-take the test more than once but achieved his goal of becoming a licensed horticulturist. He began doing landscaping and flower bed work, lawn cutting etc. for friends, neighbors, family, church members and then many others and continued doing this all his life.

In 1998 he was hired to open up our first Home Depot store and of course worked a long time in the garden department, but eventually worked in every department. He stayed with Home Depot for over ten years and wanted to branch out on his own so left to be his "own boss". It was tough and Jake realized it was not time for this dream so he was hired as Horticulturist for the City of Bossier City, LA (across the river from Shreveport) and was as proud as punch as he had "arrived". He loved this job and took such pride in his work but it was short lived. Less than a year into the job the city was facing a huge deficit and there were many lay-offs, among which was Jake who was low on the rung of hires. He was hired back at Home Depot as a part of their Merchandising Team and therefore he got to work at all three of the local stores. He was still at Home Depot at his death. We all kidded him for years that he "bled orange". He was a team player and a true and loyal Home Depot man.

He had been married for eight years and the marriage ended in divorce three years ago. They had no children. Jake wanted more than anything just about to be a father. He had met a young lady a few months ago and fell in love and was planning to ask her to marry him shortly. He was hoping they would be able to have a child.

On Thursday June 17 Jake's dream of becoming a father ended.

I received the phone call that every mother prays she will never get. Jake's girlfriend was with him when the accident occured. Her step-father called me to inform me that my son had been shot and was dead.................We have been told by some that he died instantly. I urgently pray this is true.

My life will never be the same. A piece of me died with Jake. My heart is broken. Jake had a big brother and two sisters. They will never be the same. Jake had a step-father who loved him like a natural son. He will never be the same. Jake left his father and step-mother who will never be the same.

But we will survive his death. We will someday walk and work through his death and be at a place where our hearts will beat regularly rather than so eratic and scarry. Our blood preasure will someday be at a healthy rate and we will be able to sleep and eat and even maybe go an hour without laughing at something one moment only to break down the next.

We have faith. We all believe. I will likely never feel this level of pain again and I strongly pray for those of you who have not experienced losing a child that you never will know this pain.

I also will likely never again be as honored and humbled and blessed any more abundantly than I have been in the past few days as I've felt by your comments, your support, your personal messages, physical cards of condolences, devoting space on your websites to blog about Jake and his family, asking your readers for their prayers for us and your tears I know you've shed. The times you have taken in your busy days to think of me, of Punkin, and the rest of my family. The times you've remembered before closing your eyes at night to ask God to heal us and receive my son in His Kingdom. On and on and on I could write about all the things I know you have done out of love.

Oh and those who do not blog or know about blogging just could not know how women, and even our spouses and some guys too can blog hop and become "friends" with so many different people across our great land, across the sea and with so many various interests. Oh it is amazing at our differences. But our likeness is the thing that is more amazing. Because all of us. ALL of us have the same heart. We love the same. And I leave now with words that are so very inadequate and that is a simple Thank You and I Love You. And please know I will eventually personally "meet each of you" at your bloggy place and we will chat and you will know that you are now and will be eternally my Sisters. God Bless each and every one of your precious hearts.

Mollye, Mike, Lori, Marcus, Shari, Wes, Buddy, Jessica,and the rest of our family!


many sweet pictures of our Jake





Oldest son Lance (Buddy) Mike and Mollye


Oldest daughter Lori and Buddy


baby daughter Shari and her children, Michael, Emily and Joe


Loris daughter Erika and two of our great grandchildren; Ellie and Luke

GRIEF...How Do You Deal With It?

In the early part of 2000 I lost my husband to liver disease. A horrible but preventable death if he had chosen to live differently. However I was devastated because at age 56 I was too young to be a widow. He was not even 47 yet; so young and with a young son of 25 he left.

I had been unable to work for the previous couple of years due to caring for him and now had to re-enter the work force. I went to work at the nearby Louisiana State Park as the District Office Coordinator and shared an office with two men who were rarely in.

My job demanded learning spread sheets and different computer programs and skills and I had up until that time barely mustered maneuvering the mouse from place to place, but with lots of patience the men guided me in the basics and I practiced.

Of course his death would not completely leave my mind and there was no one to talk to so I began writing on the computer and realize I had never used a word processor and had not typed since high school, but I typed and I typed and before I knew it I was caught up in a story. I began tearing pictures from magazines, pictures of people; people we all know from People Magazine and such. In my mind they became my family. They represented my deceased husband, and all my children. My parents, my extended family and my friends that I didn't have.

I couldn't stay too true to my story or I would have been writing about my life and my life at that time felt too painful. I didn't want to let anyone in so I had to re-invent my life. I became the matriarch of a family of simple, poor, practically illerate hill family from the Tennessee mountains. I had to learn a new way to talk, and spell, and think. Of course I drew my strength from this very strong woman from the hills. She faced hard work, death, disappointments, fear and all the things we in life are faced with and she endured through her faith in God, determination of spirit, and a caring family. Through this hillbilly woman, I learned to do the same. I interwove parts of my own life within these colorful characters and made up the rest. Again, I typed and I typed.

I went to bed thinking of the folks on James Mountain and got up in the night to pen what I had dreamed or had thought of before my storyline was forgotten and when I got to work and got my office work out of the way, I wrote some more. In no time, I had filled huge binders of pages both pictures and the written word and it was more than a story. It became a saga. I fine tuned it and wrote some more. Within the year my story could be finished. But how could I finish it when I now had living to do?

I met a man in 2002 that I fell completely in love with and to my surprise, I remarried. The book still hearkened. The family wanted to keep on living, so I bought another binder and began writing where I left off. My name changed so I had to change my story name, thus changing the title but the people were the same. Minus a few who had gone on before me or no longer a part of my life.

I got well. I healed. My grief subsided without me being aware of trying to move on. I had crossed over to the living. I found the second book much harder to write and still do. I'm happy in my life today. It is full and it is complete. I have a loving,healthy, happy and active family. I love Jesus, adore my husband who is absolutely the true love of my life. My health is fairly good especially in my mind and I have friends in the bloggy world I never could have dreamed up.

I know for certain that Rest High On The Mountain was a gift from God; the ability to weave this tale to heal my aching heart. There is no great pull to write about my hill family now as they are far too busy living to contend with. I am too busy.

But as in my post yesterday, I will print little exerpts from time to time for you to get a glimpse at what life in the Tennessee Hills was like for the Reuben James Family.

As only in my mind.