No matter how old you get and how many years have passed from the taunts,jeers,pushes, shoves, cruel words and pure hatred, the sting never leaves.
I wince at the actual rememberances I conjure up when I hear the term bullying or see something in the news and it makes my skin crawl, my stomach churn and my soul ache for the child who suffers bullying.
I was only 8 years old and was the new kid in school. My hair was very dark and very long and each morning my mother would braid it tightly in two long braids down the back and I wore bangs and my hair was so tight that my eyes already more almond in shape were drawn even more slanted and because of this, the kids and mostly boys would walk behind me on the 8 block walk from school to my house each afternoon throwing rocks and chanting "chinese girl" and hitting me with sticks. I cried, ran and tried to fight back to no avail. This continued most of that school year and then stopped after we went back in the fall. I suppose some other kid took the brunt of their bullying then. I don't remember if I told my parents or not but more than likely nothing would have helped as schools were so different then.
Maybe that is why I have never found it funny when people fall down or get hit. I cannot stand teasing and will do it only when I'm very sure the person teased is having fun too.
Even today my children all in their forties can tell me of some occurance in their childhood where they were mistreated and I can get emotional and feel as bad as if it were yesterday.
I'm so glad I don't have children in school today but if I did I think that would be a cause I would be very involved in as bullying is probably the main factor in many suicides and acts of violence among youth and perhaps even a carry over in emotionally disturbed adults.
Teasing in fun is so different than making fun of someone knowing you are tearing them down either physically or emotionally.
Do you think it will ever end?
I don't know Mollye - this is a good question. My grandson is in 3rd grade and this seems like the year bullying really starts. Now his school has a anti-bullying policy - but I still see it happening.
ReplyDeleteKids can be mean.
I am sorry for your pain in the past. You know parents can be bullies too. They hurt your self esteem too.
Love,
sandie
No my friend, I don't think it will ever end. It seems there will always be this 'evil' side of the human race. I've seen a lot of 'good' though that outshines them. We must show and teach strength to those who are being bullied because it won't stop until we make it stop.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your pain. I know it hurts even still.
Yesssss, I remember one incident in my youth when my best friend's mother told her that I had no personality. What?!?! Me?!?! Of course, my friend told me. I don't know that it hurt because I know ME and that is not like me at all. But it is still remembered. Aaaarrrrghhh....
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Connie
Oh Mollye, another thing we have in common! I agree, I never would tease anyone unless I knew the well enough to know that they would find it funny too! I was bullyed at school, a little bit in Canada, and quite a bit in this country! As you can imagine moving to Canada then back to England , the back to Canada and then back to England! It was difficult for me, and children can be so cruel (even if they are cute!) In Canada I got followed and called Limey, got thrown out of someones house, and tossed down an embankment full of thorns at the age of 6. In England I got called Canadian, but got thumped, called names, generally terrorised daily for a long time. Terrorised may seem to strong a word, but that is how I felt every day when I went to school.. frightened, and every night I cryed myself to sleep, because I didn't want to go the next day.
ReplyDeletePeople should not under-estimate how it affects a child, I went from being quite academic to getting behind in school, I became withdrawn and started having nightmares and the start of my sleep problems which have stayed with me. In fact It turned me into a very sad teenager, which led me to meeting a completely unsuitable man and marrying him!
I am so sorry to go on, but this subject gets me going, and like you, I can remember it so well, it can still send me into tears! SOmeone told me that I was as boring as a pair of curtains, it hurt like a knife! Of course now I am older I realise that there are many types of curtains! I used to think that saying sticks and stones was absolute rot!
Have a lovely weekend my love full of personality friend! You with no personality ... HA! They could not have got that more wrong! Suzie xxx
Bullying takes many forms as we grow. We even have bullies in our families. I found that the best way to handle them is to face them & put my foot down. If, as in my case, they continue....cut them out of your life!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Marilyn
Oh I remember getting called a few names in grade school mainly. It is terrible and yes I think it is getting worse. Well girl get your stunning Derby Hat up on your post girl. I want to see what you would wear. Something striking I know. Probably southern belle style?
ReplyDeleteQMM
Mine are still young and in school,and my oldest has already had issues with this.She is so much stronger than I was at her age.We stay involved and on top of the situation,but the facts are,children of today are not learning a very important life lesson...Compassion,..simple yet powerful in the evolution of humanity.Big Hugs and thank you for talking about this.Cat
ReplyDeletegood morning, mizmollye! ahh, what a touching post. i just betcha most of us have been the victim of bullying at one time or another in our lives.
ReplyDeleteit IS a very sad, cruel thing. because of my fair skin, i was always teased by a few classmates about it. even called an albino!
now, after 49 years of having to shade and protect my fair skin from the sun (like a good southern belle!) i find that my complexion is an asset, as i don't have the sun damage that those same bullies are suffering. heh heh
anyway, to answer your question, sadly i'm afraid it will never end. my precious children all suffered from bullying in school, as i did. and like you, my heart breaks, my soul anguishes and my hackers are put to the test. do NOT mess with terry lee or her chicks!
i could go on and on, but you get the point. this is a subject that touches a very sensitive nerve with me. and i'm soooo sorry you and your babes were affected by it too.
thanks for a thought-provoking post.
hugs,
terry lee
I can so relate to the tight braids. The pain of childhood hurts is never-ending. Loved exploring your blog. Especially liked the picture of you and your Pumpkin Darling. Thanks for visiting Redoing The Undone.
ReplyDeleteCome visit my other blog: www.kasscho.blogspot.com The K Is No Longer Silent.
Miz. M your entry on Mr. Linky is fine. Took me right to your post.
ReplyDeleteQMM
Life can be hard and people mean spirited at any time in life. My mom always told me to keep my eyes on Jesus. I thank her that I am a hold your head up high. I'll get through it kind of girl.
ReplyDeleteDottie
♥
Oh Mollye,
ReplyDeleteThis is such a sore subject with me! My oldest was teased horrible in junior high....it changed him forever! And I really mean that! All thes years later he is still not confident enough in himself to love himself! There were times when I thought if I could catch the little SOB's I would hurt them!!!! Ugly, ugly story....if they only knew what they did!
Where to start? Every time I come by here you have something interesting to say in every post and I feel compelled to comment. I love the Indiana Jones ATC. He looks wonderful!! I am looking forward to hearing about your Boston trip. I have never been there but my no-account-sperm-donor-father-who-I never-met- or-not-that-I-can-remember is in a nursing home there. That's as much as I know about Boston but I hear it is beautiful there and I am sure you will love it. .
ReplyDeleteAs to bullying you know how I feel about that. I went through quite a bit too because I talked different and liked to read but I had two brothers and one sister so I was hardly ever alone so it never did get too bad. However I watch my son with that. He knows that he ever has problems he needs to let me know. It is a part of the reason why since 3rd grade he has always been around the same kids and has the same friends. I have worked hard to ensure that. Like itch2stitch pointed out when you move into a new environment, it can be rough. People are not taught to celebrate differences and then I find that some people will always find something to pick on. I will do anything I can to make sure my son remains in the same environment until he goes away to college. In my case lesson learnt I think. Then you have read my blog story too...
I know it is terrible and when I was a teacher I used to watch out for it but I think it will always be there to some extent.
Girl, I got in a little tiff with a friend from high school on facebook last week. All of a sudden...like it was yesterday...I remembered words that stung me to the soul of my being. That I wasn't pretty. Girl...I to this day...Never feel pretty enough!! Words and bullying can kill a spirit for sure.
ReplyDeleteI remember similar experiences. The problem is that youngsters do not realize how hurtful their little games are. They think it's just childish fun, unless it happens to them.
ReplyDeleteOne remedy for any bullying, youthful or adult,is psychic self-defense and there are books available on the subject, as well as,
Internet sites. A quick Google search will
show them.