Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A NEW DAY FOR JAKE'S FAMILY
Hello Everyone! It truly is a new day, a new way and a new beginning on trying to learn how I will be normal again.
My son Jake was laid to rest in a little country cemetery about 125 miles south of here where my husbands family members are all buried. It is small and it is pretty. It will not be conveniente for us to visit his grave but there will be times I'm sure that we can all come together to freshen up and make pretty his final resting place. We all know Jake is not in that grave but just his earthly pajamas.
Jake had a beautiful homecoming celebration funeral at his church where he had served and loved the Lord for more than 15 years. The church was full of family, his church family, co-workers who wept and shared their love. There was a slide show of Jake's life and a music tribute featuring the songs that Jake loved. You could not be there and did not personally know Jake so I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to him.
Jake was my baby and was born January 3, 1970. He was always a good little boy and never any trouble or in any trouble. He never got scolded in school and was liked and loved by everyone. His disposition was sunny, optimistic and friendly. He was a scout and achieved the rank of Eagle Scout at age 14.
In 1990 when Jake was barely 20 he received a blow to the head and suffered a closed head injury and it was also determined at the time that he had a congenital Dandy Walker cyst at the brain stem. He had to undergo neuro surgery.Chances of survival and a quality life if he did survive were not good. He had shunts for the rest of his life.
However God had other plans for Jake and he did survive and he had to learn to walk, talk, eat and all the other skills all over again. He turned down the option of receiving disability as he wanted to be "abled".
Shortly after his recovery he received Christ as his savior and fell head over heels in love with Jesus Christ and remained until his death last week a champion of all souls. Jake was a soul man. He loved soul food, soul music and most of all he was passionate about every soul he met. Passionate about the condition of their soul. You see he truly wanted all to know his heavenly father and of His love for you.
He never met anyone without sharing his love of the Lord but he did it in such a loving, gentle way that he never offended. Everyone knew the Lord when they knew Jake whether he said anything or not by the way he lived his life.
Jake realized he had a love for flowers, plants and had a natural knack for making plants flourish and a keen eye for design so he studied hard for several years having to re-take the test more than once but achieved his goal of becoming a licensed horticulturist. He began doing landscaping and flower bed work, lawn cutting etc. for friends, neighbors, family, church members and then many others and continued doing this all his life.
In 1998 he was hired to open up our first Home Depot store and of course worked a long time in the garden department, but eventually worked in every department. He stayed with Home Depot for over ten years and wanted to branch out on his own so left to be his "own boss". It was tough and Jake realized it was not time for this dream so he was hired as Horticulturist for the City of Bossier City, LA (across the river from Shreveport) and was as proud as punch as he had "arrived". He loved this job and took such pride in his work but it was short lived. Less than a year into the job the city was facing a huge deficit and there were many lay-offs, among which was Jake who was low on the rung of hires. He was hired back at Home Depot as a part of their Merchandising Team and therefore he got to work at all three of the local stores. He was still at Home Depot at his death. We all kidded him for years that he "bled orange". He was a team player and a true and loyal Home Depot man.
He had been married for eight years and the marriage ended in divorce three years ago. They had no children. Jake wanted more than anything just about to be a father. He had met a young lady a few months ago and fell in love and was planning to ask her to marry him shortly. He was hoping they would be able to have a child.
On Thursday June 17 Jake's dream of becoming a father ended.
I received the phone call that every mother prays she will never get. Jake's girlfriend was with him when the accident occured. Her step-father called me to inform me that my son had been shot and was dead.................We have been told by some that he died instantly. I urgently pray this is true.
My life will never be the same. A piece of me died with Jake. My heart is broken. Jake had a big brother and two sisters. They will never be the same. Jake had a step-father who loved him like a natural son. He will never be the same. Jake left his father and step-mother who will never be the same.
But we will survive his death. We will someday walk and work through his death and be at a place where our hearts will beat regularly rather than so eratic and scarry. Our blood preasure will someday be at a healthy rate and we will be able to sleep and eat and even maybe go an hour without laughing at something one moment only to break down the next.
We have faith. We all believe. I will likely never feel this level of pain again and I strongly pray for those of you who have not experienced losing a child that you never will know this pain.
I also will likely never again be as honored and humbled and blessed any more abundantly than I have been in the past few days as I've felt by your comments, your support, your personal messages, physical cards of condolences, devoting space on your websites to blog about Jake and his family, asking your readers for their prayers for us and your tears I know you've shed. The times you have taken in your busy days to think of me, of Punkin, and the rest of my family. The times you've remembered before closing your eyes at night to ask God to heal us and receive my son in His Kingdom. On and on and on I could write about all the things I know you have done out of love.
Oh and those who do not blog or know about blogging just could not know how women, and even our spouses and some guys too can blog hop and become "friends" with so many different people across our great land, across the sea and with so many various interests. Oh it is amazing at our differences. But our likeness is the thing that is more amazing. Because all of us. ALL of us have the same heart. We love the same. And I leave now with words that are so very inadequate and that is a simple Thank You and I Love You. And please know I will eventually personally "meet each of you" at your bloggy place and we will chat and you will know that you are now and will be eternally my Sisters. God Bless each and every one of your precious hearts.
Mollye, Mike, Lori, Marcus, Shari, Wes, Buddy, Jessica,and the rest of our family!
many sweet pictures of our Jake
Oldest son Lance (Buddy) Mike and Mollye
Oldest daughter Lori and Buddy
baby daughter Shari and her children, Michael, Emily and Joe
Loris daughter Erika and two of our great grandchildren; Ellie and Luke