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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A NEW DAY FOR JAKE'S FAMILY



Hello Everyone! It truly is a new day, a new way and a new beginning on trying to learn how I will be normal again.

My son Jake was laid to rest in a little country cemetery about 125 miles south of here where my husbands family members are all buried. It is small and it is pretty. It will not be conveniente for us to visit his grave but there will be times I'm sure that we can all come together to freshen up and make pretty his final resting place. We all know Jake is not in that grave but just his earthly pajamas.

Jake had a beautiful homecoming celebration funeral at his church where he had served and loved the Lord for more than 15 years. The church was full of family, his church family, co-workers who wept and shared their love. There was a slide show of Jake's life and a music tribute featuring the songs that Jake loved. You could not be there and did not personally know Jake so I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to him.

Jake was my baby and was born January 3, 1970. He was always a good little boy and never any trouble or in any trouble. He never got scolded in school and was liked and loved by everyone. His disposition was sunny, optimistic and friendly. He was a scout and achieved the rank of Eagle Scout at age 14.

In 1990 when Jake was barely 20 he received a blow to the head and suffered a closed head injury and it was also determined at the time that he had a congenital Dandy Walker cyst at the brain stem. He had to undergo neuro surgery.Chances of survival and a quality life if he did survive were not good. He had shunts for the rest of his life.
However God had other plans for Jake and he did survive and he had to learn to walk, talk, eat and all the other skills all over again. He turned down the option of receiving disability as he wanted to be "abled".

Shortly after his recovery he received Christ as his savior and fell head over heels in love with Jesus Christ and remained until his death last week a champion of all souls. Jake was a soul man. He loved soul food, soul music and most of all he was passionate about every soul he met. Passionate about the condition of their soul. You see he truly wanted all to know his heavenly father and of His love for you.

He never met anyone without sharing his love of the Lord but he did it in such a loving, gentle way that he never offended. Everyone knew the Lord when they knew Jake whether he said anything or not by the way he lived his life.

Jake realized he had a love for flowers, plants and had a natural knack for making plants flourish and a keen eye for design so he studied hard for several years having to re-take the test more than once but achieved his goal of becoming a licensed horticulturist. He began doing landscaping and flower bed work, lawn cutting etc. for friends, neighbors, family, church members and then many others and continued doing this all his life.

In 1998 he was hired to open up our first Home Depot store and of course worked a long time in the garden department, but eventually worked in every department. He stayed with Home Depot for over ten years and wanted to branch out on his own so left to be his "own boss". It was tough and Jake realized it was not time for this dream so he was hired as Horticulturist for the City of Bossier City, LA (across the river from Shreveport) and was as proud as punch as he had "arrived". He loved this job and took such pride in his work but it was short lived. Less than a year into the job the city was facing a huge deficit and there were many lay-offs, among which was Jake who was low on the rung of hires. He was hired back at Home Depot as a part of their Merchandising Team and therefore he got to work at all three of the local stores. He was still at Home Depot at his death. We all kidded him for years that he "bled orange". He was a team player and a true and loyal Home Depot man.

He had been married for eight years and the marriage ended in divorce three years ago. They had no children. Jake wanted more than anything just about to be a father. He had met a young lady a few months ago and fell in love and was planning to ask her to marry him shortly. He was hoping they would be able to have a child.

On Thursday June 17 Jake's dream of becoming a father ended.

I received the phone call that every mother prays she will never get. Jake's girlfriend was with him when the accident occured. Her step-father called me to inform me that my son had been shot and was dead.................We have been told by some that he died instantly. I urgently pray this is true.

My life will never be the same. A piece of me died with Jake. My heart is broken. Jake had a big brother and two sisters. They will never be the same. Jake had a step-father who loved him like a natural son. He will never be the same. Jake left his father and step-mother who will never be the same.

But we will survive his death. We will someday walk and work through his death and be at a place where our hearts will beat regularly rather than so eratic and scarry. Our blood preasure will someday be at a healthy rate and we will be able to sleep and eat and even maybe go an hour without laughing at something one moment only to break down the next.

We have faith. We all believe. I will likely never feel this level of pain again and I strongly pray for those of you who have not experienced losing a child that you never will know this pain.

I also will likely never again be as honored and humbled and blessed any more abundantly than I have been in the past few days as I've felt by your comments, your support, your personal messages, physical cards of condolences, devoting space on your websites to blog about Jake and his family, asking your readers for their prayers for us and your tears I know you've shed. The times you have taken in your busy days to think of me, of Punkin, and the rest of my family. The times you've remembered before closing your eyes at night to ask God to heal us and receive my son in His Kingdom. On and on and on I could write about all the things I know you have done out of love.

Oh and those who do not blog or know about blogging just could not know how women, and even our spouses and some guys too can blog hop and become "friends" with so many different people across our great land, across the sea and with so many various interests. Oh it is amazing at our differences. But our likeness is the thing that is more amazing. Because all of us. ALL of us have the same heart. We love the same. And I leave now with words that are so very inadequate and that is a simple Thank You and I Love You. And please know I will eventually personally "meet each of you" at your bloggy place and we will chat and you will know that you are now and will be eternally my Sisters. God Bless each and every one of your precious hearts.

Mollye, Mike, Lori, Marcus, Shari, Wes, Buddy, Jessica,and the rest of our family!


many sweet pictures of our Jake





Oldest son Lance (Buddy) Mike and Mollye


Oldest daughter Lori and Buddy


baby daughter Shari and her children, Michael, Emily and Joe


Loris daughter Erika and two of our great grandchildren; Ellie and Luke

58 comments:

  1. I am still sooooo very sorry and sad for you, sugar. As a mother I can't even imagine your anguish and hope it's something I never have to experience.
    xoxo,
    Connie

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  2. Mollye my heart is full of love for you and your family and also full of sadness. Thank you for taking the time to tell us about your beautiful son and letting us know him just a little. We already love him through you! Time will help the healing but as you say your life has changed forever. God Bless you in the days to come and give you strength and peace.

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  3. Dear Mollye,
    My heart aches in the biggest way for you. I am allowing the tears to flow as I read your post. My heart is heavy and I feel your pain.
    But, I do not know the pain that you are suffering, I can only imagine when I look at my own son.
    God bless you and your family my dear friend. And may you find peace in Jake's loving memory.

    hugs
    Sissie

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  4. I continue to pray for you and your family. I can only imagine the depth of your sadness but what a comfort it must be to know that God has received your sweet boy into His loving arms.

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  5. Mollye, if I didn't love you before, I love you even more now. My own heart is so full I can't find the right words through tears, but I hope you know that I think you are remarkable. No wonder your son was such a precious man. All you have to do is look at his mother to know why! Thank you for sharing Jake's story with us. There is nothing on earth I appreciate more than someone who is an overcomer, and Jake was that and much more. And it thrills my heart to know that, thanks to the Lord, he overcame the final obstacle (death) and is now in a place so glorious we can't even imagine it in our wildest dreams... at home in Heaven with the LORD! :-)

    I have lost some of the people I love most, but I have never lost a child. I cannot even imagine the depth of your grief, Mollye, but I know the depth of the comfort you have found in knowing that Jake loved Jesus. My aunt and uncle faced this with their 19 near old son who lost a hard fought battle to cancer, and our family felt much the same as yours does right now. For you see, we were raised like brothers and sisters. Very, very close. So I know that ache well. Somehow you can eventually take that deep breath again and not jump every time the phone rings, but in the mean time, know that we love you SO much and hope and pray that the healing of your hearts will come soon. Prayers going up...

    XO,

    Sheila

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  6. A loving tribute from a loving and insightful Mother. God bless you and your family and may He guide you all in your journey of healing. I'm so glad to know Jake through these special words you have shared. I hope you will find peace and joy in his loving memory...Sue

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  7. Miss Mollye...

    I don't think my first comment when through so I'm trying again...

    I'm so sad to hear of your profound loss my sweet friend. Except for my aging grandparents I've never lost anyone so dear. I'm lifting you up to a healing, loving, merciful God and I'm praying He will send you His peace.

    We are all hear for you... How blessed you've been to have a son who brought you only JOY! Certainly heaven sent! I know your beloved Jake is sitting at the feet of Jesus and basking in the love that surrounds him. No doubt waiting one day for you and his brothers and sister to join him.

    Love to you~

    Rebecca

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  8. Miss Mollye, I'm visiting from Debbie's blog. I am so heartbroken after reading Jake's story...what a remarkable young man! I know you are so proud that God chose you to raise him, and you did a great job~
    I will add your name to my list of people to pray for (I keep the list on my bathroom mirror so I don't forget anyone). I wish I could do more~
    I think we could become friends. I have a Molly too and I am a southern neighbor (Bama).
    I will check back with you often~
    ♥,Lilly

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  9. Dear Sweet Mollye.... my tears are flowing as I read your words.... please know that like me there are so many bloggers from all around the world who are thinking of you & your family right now. Your son over came some huge hurdles during his life.... hold on to the pride & love you feel for him.

    All my Love...

    Lyn xxx

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  10. Dear, Sweet Mollye,

    My heart breaks for you right now. I just got back from a weekend with my girls so your loss is just unthinkable to me. Your post was a beautiful tribute and I am so glad to hear Jake is with our Lord and Savior right now.

    May he hold you and your beautiful family close during this time and may you know that while we have never met and may never met, I consider you a precious friend and I will keep you close in thought and prayer.

    Many hugs,
    Suzanne

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  11. What a strong faith and love to be able to sit down and write this for all to see. You give me such strength to carry on each day. All our prayers to you and family. Love you sister in Christ.
    QMM

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  12. What a wonderful service you and your family arranged for Jake. Sounds just beautiful. It is so green and lovely where you laid him to rest......you will hold again one day Mollye, as I will hold my son. Keeping you all in my heart and prayers.......:-) Hugs

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  13. Oh Mollye, I'm at a loss for words ... how you've seemingly put aside your pain for just a while to introduce us to Jake.
    Heaven become a better place last week - but yes, these bitter tears - they're for the living.
    I'm holding your hearts in prayer.
    Myra

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  14. What a beautiful story about Jake momma, and all so very true. I love the way the blog sisters are loving you through this. How amazing this is. I really appreciate the comments about Jake being an overcomer - because he surely was ! I love you momma, and I will be right here in your yard for you
    ( wink ) You are an overcomer too, and Jakey loved you soooooooo much. I told Shari today that ...once upon a time we were waiting on this lil baby to be born and we were all his elders; but as we each go home - he'll be the elder this time waiting on our rebirth into our heavenly homes...He'll be the oldest next time ! WOW

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  15. I just read this and kept sighing and trying to breathe - it's hard to know what to say. I am so sorry Mollye - I can feel your pain. It is something no one wants to go thru - losing a child. In awhile check out some grief groups. I'll be praying. (((HUGS))) sandie

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  16. Mollye, My heart hurts for you. Im truly sorry for your sadness& lost , a mother of 3, I can;t imagine the pain.But he sure sounds like quite a man-who lived a very full life doing what he loved,& how proud you must be to be able to say such nice things about your boy, not everyone can do that. You must of done something right. What a Great Family & Now he lives on, you never know how his passing will effect someone out in blog land and help them or help another mother out there. Thanks for sharing and I am truly sorry for your loss.
    Glad I met you, Your darling friend Deborah at Vintage Soul who loves you so, sent me over.
    God Bless
    Karryann

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  17. Mollye, what a beautiful tribute to your son. Thank you for sharing so much information with us. Just from the little bit I "know" you, I truly felt that you are a strong woman and will get through this. Please remember I am there with you, always.

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  18. Sweet Mollye, my heart is breaking for you, but again I am amazed at how faith holds us up and keeps us going somehow. How wonderful of you to share your wonderful Jake with us, and it just broke me up to see the grief in each of your eyes..but also the hope of meeting again.
    Thank you for sharing in your time of grief..we are all here for you, as I look at the previous commenters, a lot of us do know each other, such a great sisterhood it is!
    love and hugs:))
    Barb

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  19. Sounds like Jake had a beautiful funeral.
    What a fantastic man he was. Still thinking of you and keeping in prayers. We don't live too far from each other.
    God bless you and family and send comforting , guardian angels to guide you through the following days.

    jann
    Fort Worth, Texas

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  20. Hi Honey, thank you so much for letting us share this little part of your life with you. Truthfully death is a road we all must take but it doesn't make it any easier to lose those we love. I am crying again as I read this but I wouldn't miss sharing this moment with you for anything. Someday we will see again all those who have gone before us. Take care of yourself my dear and we will talk soon.

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  21. What a beautiful tribute to your son! He was obviously an extraordinary young man who impacted many lives in the short time he walked here on earth. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me a glimpse into the life of this precious child of yours.

    Continuing to pray for you and your family.

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  22. oh Molly, my heart is just broken for you.....I am writing thru tears for you and your family...I am sending up prayers that God helps ease your pain..I cant even imagine.....with love, Melinda

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  23. Mollye, such a beautiful tribute to your dear son, continued hugs and peace winging their way to you and yours. Mx

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  24. Oh Jake sounds like he was a wonderful man and son. My heart is so heavy for you sweetie. My tears are flowing as a Mother. I feel your deep pain. Our Lord will carry you through this Mollye. Jake is with the Lord now and what better place is there? Keep his memory alive until that wonderful day you can be with him again in Heaven.
    God Bless You and all the people that knew and loved him. Thank you for sharing Jake with all of us.
    Patti

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  25. SWEET MOLLYE,
    MY PRAYERS AND HEART ARE WITH YOU FOR THE DAYS TO COME.
    THANK YOU FOR INTRODUCING US TO JAKE. I LOVE THE PICTURE OF HIM IN HIS HAT AND HOLDING HIS BIBLE. HIS EYES CERTAINLY ALWAYS TWINKLED AND I KNOW HE FELT THE TREMENDOUS LOVE THAT YOU SHOWERED UPON HIM.
    OUR BELOVED AMY IS IN A COUNTRY CEMETREY. THE BIRDS SING, YOU CAN HEAR COWS MOO IN THE DISTANCE AND OUR TEARS WATER HER RESTING PLACE.
    BUT GLORY TO GOD JAKE AND AMY ARE IN HEAVEN AND THAT IS PRICELESS BUT IT IS LIKE PART OF YOU IS GONE.I STILL LISTEN FOR HER TO COME THROUGH THE DOOR.
    BEAUTIFUL POST. JUST KEEP WRITING WHAT IS ON YOUR HEART AND ALWAYS SHARE JAKE WITH US.
    MY HUGS, LOVE, AND PRAYERS
    SIMPLY DEBBIE

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  26. Oh God.....My heart shatters for you & your family. You are in my prayers.....
    All My Love,
    Marilyn

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  27. Mollye, I just got home from vacation and red my MIL (Pattie's) blog... I wanted to stop over to give you my condolences. I could not even fathom losing my children. I am grieving in my heart for you as a mother and as a fellow Sister in Christ. I know that there may not be words to say.... but please know and accept that you have my heartfelt prayers as you mourn the loss of you dear son. May God bring you through the hardest days ahead...And may your eyes stay focused on the cross. with Love, Mica/ The Child's Paper

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  28. Mollye, I loved reading about Jake, and learning more about your lovely son. He had gone through such a lot, and was a fighter, and it is a test to try and understand why such a thing can happen. I can only try to imagine your pain and sorrow, and all I can do is to send you my continued love and friendship, it seems inadequate, and words certainly are, but they are all any of us have, and it gives me some peace to know that we have all helped you in some way to get through this awful time. I shall stand by you, even though not able to be physically there. Love you Mollye. Suzie xxxxxxx

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  29. Oh Mollye, my sweet Sister in Christ...you and yours will remain in my prayers long after the flowers wilt from Jake's gravesite. As I read your tribute to Jake thru my own tears...I am comforted to know that your son has seen the face of Jesus! He has obviously known profound love on this earth ~ and now he is in the arms of our Lord...PEACE be with you, Mollye.

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  30. Dear Sweet Mollye, Your tribute to Jake is so very lovely. What an amazing Man and what an amazing Momma. My thoughts have been with you and your family. Please have gentle days ahead and thank you so much for sharing Jake with us all. Love, Jamie

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  31. No momma, we'll never be the same. We will never get over this, but God-willing we will learn to live with it and will learn, grow and be better people because of it. Jake was not just a Son, Brother, Uncle, Cousin, etc.. he was a best friend for all who met and knew him. I love you and I miss you and I hope to see you soon.
    ~Buddy

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  32. I came over from the Shabby Tiara to express to you my deepest sympathies. I can't pretend to know the pain you feel, but I wanted to tell you that I care and that I will pray for healing, and comfort, and peace. May God wrap his arms around you especially tightly at this time.

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  33. mollye, thank you so much for sharing the story of your precious son's life. what a wonderful, loving young man he was!

    there are no words, mollye. i can only begin to imagine the pain within your heart at the loss of your baby.

    i continue to lift you up to our dear Lord, who IS the Great Comforter. may He send His angels to minister, comfort and carry you through this unspeakable pain.

    love to you and yours,
    terry lee

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  34. My heartfelt condolences for you and your family

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  35. What can one say except may God Bless your family at this time of profound grief and joy. Grief because you are separated from someone you love more than your own life, and joy that you were able to have someone so very special to call your own. I pray that God Bless your family and bring you all to a place of comfort and peace.

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  36. Hello Mollye. I was so sorry to read of your son's passing last week. My heart is broken for you and your entire family. I pray you find the strength to move forward through this very difficult time. Thank you for sharing Jake with us, you described him so beautifully. God Bless sweetie and take care.

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  37. Mollye, I continue to pray. To ask God to pour his grace, and love upon you and your family. You are right, you will never be the same. I can say I imagine what it is like to lose a child, but until you do I don't think we really know the depth of pain you are enduring. I pray that knowing he is in the arms of his Abba brings comfort to your Mama's heart, that most certianlly feels like it has been wrenched in two and will never heal. God will uphold you, will give you the grace to get through another day when you feel you cannot bear it. Day by Day sweet Mollye.

    with love,
    Mary

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  38. Your words speak how your son touched so many lives...... how sad his had to end too soon. As a parent, I cannot imagine what you are going through, but you are wise to reach out for words of support. Thank you for sharing his life, and his death.

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  39. What a wonderful and lasting tribute to Jake. He looks so happy in all the photos and sometimes he looks like he was the one making everyone laugh. What a memorable tribute to him.

    I truly hope that the healing will begin soon. I know how hard it must be for you. I remember my grandmother saying that a mother should never outlive her children. Remember, you have all of us.

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  40. Hello Mollye, I dropped by for Blogerrette Sorority, as I read your post my heart goes out to you, No we don't know each other but we are blogger sisters and I will pray for you, for God's peace that passes all understanding to surround you and comfort you. I know He will do this for you. Hugs, Margaret

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  41. So sorry to hear of your loss. I found you through Itch2Stich Suzie. I can only offer my sincere condolences, I hope memories of your wonderful son will help you through this trying time.
    My thoughts are with you and your family-

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  42. My Dear Mollye Sweetie,
    My heart aches as I read this post. I feel the tears flow as I read your post. My heart is heavy and I feel your pain, but I do not know the pain that you are suffering, I can only imagine when I look at my own sons.

    God bless you and your family my dear friend. And may you find peace in Jake's loving memory. Keep writing sweetie, as I know it helps to share with your friends. I am always here for you, and I am sending you hugs and so much love sweetie.

    All my love sweetie, Your sis, Sherry

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  43. Mollye I am always thinking and praying for you and your family. What a precious life your son had!

    I am thinking of you every day and you are written across my heart.

    I am always here. I have a VP shunt for hydrocephalus . Twenty six years this September. It has given me much grief with the Vertigo and the migraines but I keep plugging away.

    Your family is very beautiful and you will always have your son Jake written across your heart too!

    You were so brave to share with us. I am amazed at your kindnesses in this difficult time. Love and Blessings to you from me! Anne

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  44. Oh Mollye, this brought tears to my eyes. What a precious champion of a son you have. He is rejoicing in Heaven, as you know...never, ever to suffer again. I can only imagine the depth of your heartache but Jesus knows and feels it with you. Blessings ~

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  45. Mollye,
    I happened upon your blog while blog hopping and read your story of your love for Jake, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Son and please know I'll be remembering you and your family in my prayers!

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  46. oh sweetie, I am so sorry.
    Yet, praise God he chose to bring your son into his family so you will have eternity together. Much love and prayers.

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  47. Oh, dear God. Mollye, I just now learned of this, and my heart is broken. I am a mother, too, and I know of the depth of our love.

    Your words have touched my heart, and I will be holding you and your family very close in my heart and prayers.

    What a blessing your Jake was to you and all he knew. God gave you the most precious gift in the days you shared together.

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  48. My deepest sympathy on Jake's passing. My daughter was born in 1970, also. Every month since then I have been waiting for the Lord to take her, but she lives on. She has had over 100 shunt operations/revisions. She has spina bifida. My heart bleeds with you. Look to the heavens for strength.

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  49. Mollye dear, my heart aches for you and your family! So very sad to hear of this! You are in my thoughts and prayers! You sound so strong. Don't know how I could handle going through this. I have two boys and just can't imagine. It is a great comfort to know he loved the Lord and is now with him. {{HUGS}} !!

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  50. My prayers of peace and healing to you and your family. Heidi

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  51. It is so hard when this happens but God takes us when he needs us. Thank you for sharing your sweet son and my prayers are with your family.
    Hugs and prayers, Lisa

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  52. Oh my gosh Mollye.. I did not know until now..I'm so heart broken for you.. If you feel like it in the future , please call me
    I am praying for all of you .. peace of Christ be with you

    with love to you

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  53. Dear Mollye and family,

    I came via Treasure Barn, and am saddened by your loss, and will pray for your Jake and all of you. You are right, that it is a club that no one should have to join.

    I just lost my dear husband on the 25th of May, and life just isn't the same. I am so very sorry for your loss, and know that God will lift you up and send all the right people into your lives at the right time to comfort you with this the most terrible loss of one's child.

    God Bless.

    Memory Eternal!

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  54. Mollye, I am sitting here at my computer with tears streaming down my face. I pray I never have to get that call, life is not fair and I am sorry for the journey you are now on. Grief is heavy and hard. ((HUGS)) As I was reading this I was thinking that God has put us together for a reason. I would like to think that the reason is that now, with our connection, your son can be the step-father to all the babies who are in heaven without theirs. Praying for your comfort and strength. ((HUGS))

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  55. Dear Mollye,
    I know it is impossible to feel the almost unbearable pain that you suffered through this tragic loss. My heart aches for you and I am lifting you up up in my prayers. May sweet peace, as only He can bring, overshadow you and bring you rest and comfort in your sorrow. God bless you, in the Name of the Lord Jesus.
    Love, Gerry

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  56. Mollye,

    As you know I visited your sons blog this morning through my dear sister-friend Denise (shortybear) and I prayed for him and your family. I then received your very warm comment on my blog and your invitation to come by your blog.

    I visited the very beautiful blog of Jake's first. I read through many of those posts. I was deeply touched to have just a small look into an incredibly big-hearted man.

    I am VERY sorry for the tragic loss of your son and the hurt this is causing your family. My only source of peace is reading his long time love for JESUS! Oh how that must comfort you to know Jake is not dead -- he is alive forevermore in Heaven with our LORD and one day you will see him again.

    The photos at the grave and the look on his sister and brother's face reminds me of the look on my and my two brothers faces when we laid our baby brother to rest in 1994 at the age of 23. My heart forever misses him.

    I have prayed for your family and I send my love to you as a sister, a wife, a mother and a grandmother -- and a CHILD of GOD.

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