I'm sad this morning.
I was fine at first and even went blog hopping and visited several of you and then
swoosh!
something cold entered in and knocked the wind from my sails.......left me sad......melancholy...........weepy........and blue
my boy how I miss him
but I am old........ well I think of myself as old as far as true years go and I am wiser than ever before in my life so I know what I must do because I know what will happen if I stay in this darkness, this sadness, this vortex..............
I gotta do what I gotta do and pull up those big girl bloomers and begin my day all over.
Hope all of you have a wonderful day. Whatever you do though...don't waste it!
Love you!
Hi Ya!! Yep it's me....The ole' gotta' have my time off from blogging!! Missed you all so I will be back in a couple of weeks....
ReplyDeleteSweetie...You are entitled to feel sad & blue. You have been through more in the last month than most people go thru in a lifetime.
You are a sweet lady so give yourself permission to "feel" anyway you want!!
Love,
Marilyn
((HUGS))
It will be like this I'm sure. Go with it. It's your way of grieving and it's okay to be good one second and not the next. HUGS
ReplyDeleteHey Miz Mollye....Yes, you will be okay one minute, and not so okay the next. There is such a strong determination about you, that I know you will be okay. Just keep taking small steps, pulling up those big girl bloomers, as you go! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteoh honey, allow yourself to grieve. My sister talked about the waves of grief after loosing her daughter. Thank God it ebbs and flows. Times of sobbing, times of laugher, times of sweet remembrances. It's all okay, it's all necessary.
ReplyDeleteTreat yourself well, allow yourself joy in the precess too!!
Much love!!
We don't always have to be strong. Sometimes it is ok to just grieve. That is part of the process. God Bless. Hugs, Marty
ReplyDeleteHi Mollye,
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you my sweet friend.
hugs
Sissie
I am 'InAwe' of your Amazing Grace for coping with and expressing your feelings! So, sing with me 'Let It Be'...yep, Mollye Let each moment, hour, and day JustBe! Now, I gotta have a pair of those bloomers to go with my Boots...I don't think I'd pull them up much...kinda like em where they are!
ReplyDeleteThat cold breeze will blow through you for awhile but it will eventually do it less and less often. Just be in whatever mood you have to be in for the moment. You have a perfect right to be sad and mad and whatever other things you are feeling right now. Just remember that tomorrow will be a little better and begin brightly. Big hugs!
ReplyDeleteGood Morning Sweet Mollye...
ReplyDeleteThe ice will melt, and slowly the grass will begin to grow again, and soon you will feel Jake's sunshine on your face.
You cry when you need it. Laugh when you feel it. Smile to get through it.
I love you sweet Mollye. I am forever in your heart girl. Love and many hugs sweetie, Sherry
Dear Mollye, this is how it hits you. Out of the Blue...on minute your fine the next your in tears. It is part of the grieving process so don't deny yourself this. Don't worry we won't let you stay there too long, we love you too much. Hugs sweet lady!!
ReplyDeleteLinda
Mollye: There's nothing normal about what's happened. You're going to have good times and bad times. When you get down, go into your memory bank and pull out a good memory. And always remember where Jake is now and what's it's like. Remember when you said he would want you to be happy? Go for it! Big time!
ReplyDeleteMollye, I'm so sorry you got the wind whooshed out of you. Just remember what someone who lost her only daughter told me years ago when I lost my mother. Grief is like the ocean. It comes in waves. Sometimes, they are gentle, breaking around your ankles, and sometimes it's like a giant wave that knocks you under and pulls you into an undertow. The trick is not to fight against it. Go with it, and it will pop you up on the other side. It was the best advice anyone ever gave me in terms of grieving. And my friend's heart was broken... it was her 19 year old daughter so it was a long time before she could draw a full breath. Do what you think you need to do at your own pace. We're here with you, Mollye.
ReplyDeleteXO,
Sheila
My heart goes out to you.. I could never presume to understand what you're going through, and how much you miss your boy, but I AM a mother, and I understand your love for him. I'm sure that in Heaven Jake STILL feels that love. Something like that NEVER dies, so I hope you remember and find some comfort in that. ((Big Hugs)) ~tina
ReplyDeleteyou are going to have days like this......you are doing great, just hang in there....I pray for you every night.....
ReplyDeleteI am sending hugs...you can cry on all our shoulders and sometimes that is what you really need...and other days you will need other things...it is ok to just go with what you need for that day...hugs
ReplyDeleteHello! I can't stay away even though I am having a break. You know this is going to keep happening. I don't have to tell you, you already know. It will happen over, and over again, you will get days starting good, and then spiralling down. one day, it will maybe take longer to spiral, but sometime you will stand back up on both feet, and feel a bit unknockable. How can you expect yourself to be any different than this, when you have just been through what you have been through. You are so wise and know this, so just take each day as it comes and cry when you need to, and laugh when you feel able to, and blog when you feel the itch. Just be you and let yourself do everything the way you need to. some days it will all hit you again and again like a ten ton truck, but you will get back up over and over again too, until one day you stay up! Love you Mollye, I send you oodles of my love! Suzie xxxx
ReplyDeleteHi Mollye ~
ReplyDeleteSo happy to have you as a new friend. I am so sorry for your loss and wish I had word to ease your burden. Unfortunately I know I don't ~ but I would like to offer you my company and a listening ear as you make this journey.
Please, please don't push yourself, Mollye - there's no magic timeline for grief. I lost my dad back in '81 but there are still "those" times a hiccup will catch me unawares.
ReplyDeleteI think it's Flavia who wrote, "Those whom we have loved are with us always, for love never dies."
Hugs,
Myra
Mollye, I love you sweet lady. I am sending a private e mail but you are just doing what is natural. Life is so cruel sometimes. You have to remember your sweet boy and just hang on to the Lord. Keep the family close. Somehow you will survive. God is good. He is enjoying Jake's company and he is keeping you close. DOn't let him go. Hugs Anne
ReplyDeleteI went to a grief group after the death of my brother and one thing they told me about was a sug - a sudden upsurge of grief - it can come at any time for any reason - it is normal - except that its not if you know what I mean. sandie
ReplyDeleteOh Sweetie. I have been thinking about you all day. I lost my sweet little grandson when he was 4 years old. I felt like I had a black hole in my heart that was so empty. I could not understand why! It has been 6 years now . I still grieve,but not everyday all day.Time helps it really does. I pray peace and healing for you.
ReplyDeleteDottie
♥
It will get better Miz M. It is very natural to feel the way you do after a traumatic event. Don't hide from your grief. I believe it will help you to heal.
ReplyDeleteMy birthday was great. Don't worry I didn't expect you to know:) I miss my blog buddies special days all the time. It's too much to expect you to keep up with all that. When is yours?
So many wise comments. They're right, but then you know that. The grief is natural, and part of healing. The waves will get smaller with time, and the tears less frequent, and one day you'll know the joy of being with your boy again.
ReplyDeleteIt may seem odd, but when I'm missing Dad, or my brother, or our little grandson, I sometimes tell myself it's rather like when my daughter and her family moved to California. I missed them like anything, but they were just away, not gone forever. My dear ones are away, just like your beloved Jake, but not gone forever.
But it's still perfectly okay to miss him desperately while you're apart!
It's normal sweetie. Let yourself grieve, don't keep it in.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful song Mollye.
God Bless You
Big tender hugs to you my friend
Hi sweetie,
ReplyDeletehow you do it, honestly I do not know. GOD has got to be there with you, that is all I can say, your family, your friends we are there, but for that true GOD given peace and trust only he can do that. I do not know how, but he can. I do not think I could do it, I am weak, I know I am, but with GOD all things are possible. BUt I will PRAY RIGHT NOW, for Peace, that God give you a dream tonight that your son is smiling down at you, look around you, he is everywhere. For that I am sure.
hugs and love,
jamie
Oh please don't be so hard on yourself! That's the nature of grief. One moment you feel okay and the next you're overwhelmed! It's okay to be sad/blue/weepy sometimes. Good thoughts and big hugs coming your way!
ReplyDeleteJacalyn
It happens to me every day, ma. Today I was in the kitchen washing dishes and it occurred to me that I haven't spoken to Jake in a while, so I thought I'd call him. I remember feeling a joy come over my heart, like a warm bloom, at the thought of talking to him, and then reality hit me. Bella and I were in Home Depot, and all the memories... it comes and goes. I pray over it all through out the day, and I ask for the hurt to be less for me and for all of my family. Praying is all I can do. I wish I was there to give you a hug. I will come home and see you as soon as I can. I love you.
ReplyDeleteDearest Mollye,
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking of you, even though I took a break from blogging as I often do. I don't know what I would do if I lost my son.. I have tears in my eyes just thinking it. You are handling this as well as can be expected. Life can be so heart breaking at times. I know this personally. But we trudge on ... somehow. I know at times like this God must seem very far away, but I know he is beside you. Wrapping his loving arms around you, we just can't always feel what is in the spiritual. I cry for you my dear friend and your heart ache. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers always.
love,Gwen