HELP........................................Someone has the answer.
I know I have been through trauma, tragedy and a total devasting experience in losing my son. I know what I'm going through is probably very natural and normal but I am so stuck.
I want so badly to be able to go in my art room and begin creating something that will satisfy, but I just cannot find the motivation or energy or whatever the word is to actually DO it.
Has anyone gone through something that just keeps you from moving forward. And I do know I am moving forward and through my grief process but creatively speaking I seem to be stuck as if I had never been creative. And there are so many things I am interested in.
I have plenty of things to work with so a shopping trip is not needed. The supplies are there the room is there and the desire is there but it stops there!!! I want to MAKE something but it seems as if I need a shove or big push in my rear end to get it in gear.
C'mon sisters, give me a push or a nudge. Please...............
Sweet Mollye, it will just take time. We all get stuck and you certainly have a reason to be stuck, but it will pass. Take one day, one hour, one minute at a time and it WILL happen. Just hang in there and blog your thoughts. It will get better. Promise!!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Connie
:-)
Oh Sweetheart..... You are expecting too much from yourself. When you lost your son your life changed forever.
ReplyDeleteYou need to give yourself time to grieve & take your whole creative-self back to square one & build from there. Maybe you could find something to so creatively that wouldn't put demands on you.
JMO!!
Love You!
Marilyn
{{HUGS}}
Mollye - I'd have to reiterate what Connie says - it's going to take take. The fact that you know that you are progressing through you grief is significant and in my humble opinion, the creativity will come back - in time. Don't push and it will happen.
ReplyDeleteSweet Sister Mollye,I cannot even beigin to understand what you have been through,I have however been with out a muse on many a occasion.I can tell you that when I am in a state of "undoing" and I try to create..I end up being unhappy with the results.I have learned to fill my creative need with other ways..making art in ways that I do not make regularly.Using supplies that I do not use reguarly.
ReplyDeleteCreating digitally has been a lifesaver on those days my muse has gone fluttered away for a while.I have also started watercoloring and playing with fibers.I suppose the suggestion I would give you is to not attempt what you would nornamlly work with,but try something new.
I hope this helps..nudge..nudge..Hugs,Cat
digitalwhispers.com(a group I joined to learn about digital creation)
Mollye, I think you are being creative already, in the fact that you at least "want" to do those things, PLUS, you are very creative in your blogging. I truly believe that writing, itself, helps heal the soul, too. It doesn't matter what kind of writing, either. It can be fictional, or journaling. Since you are so good at journaling/blogging, maybe you could try writing some fiction. I'm sure you would weave some of your personal life into that, as well. I also am sure that someday you will get back to your artwork...it's just a matter of time! Hugs to you!
ReplyDeletePlease be gentle with yourself. You are grieving and getting fully back into things takes time. I know that opinions can differ in regards to how we do or don't heal and this is only my two cents. However, the Lord may use your creativity to help heal you and the enemy may try to keep you from this communion with God. I would encourage you to see if maybe God is wanting to meet you in a special and tender way as you use the talents He has given you. Even if you only try for 30 min., at least give it a shot. I can only speak for myself, but I know that during my wilderness times, the Lord has shown up in a mighty way while I was creating. I may have cried the whole time, but He ministered to my heart and soul with His Mighty Balm of Healing. God bless you as you walk through this time of heartache.
ReplyDeleteMollye my heart goes out to you friend! don't push yourself too hard, time heals all wounds and you need to give yourself "time". I agree that maybe you need to try something new or different, or.... maybe just sit and look at the world.
ReplyDeleteHugs XX
Barbara
Oh, my dear Mollye. You're grieving, and moving through and IN that grief. It will take as much time as it takes, a favorite axiom of a friend of mine.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, can you create something you know you're going to throw away, or even burn? Go into your studio and collage, not something sweet, or funny, or pretty, but the bleakness, the dark despair? Put all your pain in it, and when you're done take that pain and do whatever seems best--frame it, bury it, show it to us here, whatever seems most healing. I don't know, but I think maybe you need to let your grief paint your art and flow through it right now, knowing the results may be as ugly as your hurt, and that that's okay.
Sorry to be so long-winded. I wish I could lift your pain from your shoulders!
Hi, sweet lady... I think that all creative people get stuck. I do. You need to do something different to jump start yourself. Is there something that you've always wanted to do and never done? Is there a particular concert you want to attend or a particular town you want to visit? Or a play? Or something? Then I would do that and see if it gives you some creative inspiration. I find that when I get excited about something, then I feel more creative. Does that makes sense?
ReplyDeleteHope you get your creative groove back soon, Mollye. In the mean times, sending you BIG HUGS...
XO,
Sheila :-)
Honey you have to give yourself time to grieve and heal and the creativity will come back.
ReplyDeleteI was just typing what Linda typed. You have to take time for yourself. You have been through something that takes time, you can't expect to move forward yet. Everyone grieves in their own way but I believe it is too soon to be worried about not being creative. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeletemollye
ReplyDeleteyour creative energy is flowing, it's being expressed in words. that's how the lord is dealing with you now as you grieve. your posts have been full of inspiration!! it will come! put pen to paper & let the words flow!!
blessings
Time...that is the hardest answer...If I was close we could try the kick in the but!!! Try just laying a little simple craft by you and see if that may work...somthing easy...it may just take awhile...sometimes maybe a goofy comedy...smiling and laughing do release endorphins which can help some...practice smiling even while you are unhappy...pray....getting some one close to you to kick the but...try kicking theirs first and see if it makes you laugh when you see their expression...and pray some more...use the good memories...remember that he wants you to be happy...sending hugs and prayers
ReplyDeleteMiz Mollye I wish I could give you a hug rather than a kick. I agree with what everyone has said - you're just going to have to be patient, face the pain and live through it enough that other things start shoving their way back into your being. Your creativity will come back when you're ready for it. ((((((mollye)))))))))))
ReplyDeleteWe create as our emotions lead us, perhaps your emotions are too raw right now, to painful to be expressed. Give yourself time Mollye, your creative juices will flow again when the time is right. Sending you big hugs......:-)
ReplyDeleteOh dear Mollye, I have been through a shitty time myself. I have started a new blog and a new slant. Queenmothermamaw is now daylily. come by and refollow if you will. Your creativity will return when the time is right.
ReplyDeletelily
Oh Mollye, I went thru something similar when my Parents passed away. I felt like I just couldn't keep on going. But I finally did start moving. Why don't you make something for US! Set out to create anything and know that we are waiting to see it:) Get with it friend, go get started... I am coming back to see what you came up with! HUGS from ME!
ReplyDeleteI'm with the other Magpie, find something you have never done before and immerse yourself in it. Beading, knitting, creative writing, anything. Take a class on whatever it is, that always gets me going. Get on a plane and come here and we will go to my cabin and you can teach me ATCs 101.
ReplyDeleteDebbie
I call this kind of a time a tunnel. You are somewhere in that tunnel - - - and looking forward to that tiny pin point of light, you can't tell if it is closer or if the pin point of light behind you is closer.
ReplyDeleteI wish there was a "formula" to make it go away faster. But there just isn't.
This is what I do know - - - the only way through it is one step at a time.
Keep doing the things you know to do - - - whether they make you feel better or not. (going to church, reading your Bible, chatting with others who know how to listen to your heart)
Take naps. Exercise (if you are someone for whom that is helpful) Send e-mails. Find the "thing" that is the most helpful healthy coping mechanism for you. (for me it was naps and e-mail/blogging)
Remember, you are not in that tunnel alone. God is there with you, he is hurting because you are hurting, and he is carrying you when you don't think you can take another step.
As you continue, by discipline, to put one foot in front of the other you WILL eventually come to the end of the tunnel. When you do, your emotions will return - - - Joy and Sorrow. Your creativity will also return.
How long will this take? I don't know. That's the hard part - - - none of us likes to "wait."
Just remember this - - - you can never truly appreciate the light until you have been in utter darkness.
Mollye my lovely friend, it is perfectly natural to feel stuck. I have experienced that feeling a few times in life, and it does feel awful, but honestly it will eventually pass, it just will take time. I have had times when I go to do something, but I just can't and I found myself slumped in an armchair, feeling almost paralised. It is your souls, minds and bodies way of getting through such an awful time. besides, all the 'normal' things you wish to do, only remind you of when things were normal, and it just hurts too much to go there! It is like you have gone through a door, and it has slammed behind you, and you find yourself in a world that looks the same, but is definitely not the same, and you can't get back. Don't expect to much of yourself, and if you feel like slumping, then slump. You can not possibly expect things to feel ok yet, you need time to heal your soul. Big huge enormous hugs to you from me! Susie xxxx
ReplyDeleteMY DEAR PRECIOUS MOLLYE,
ReplyDeleteGRIEF IS AN ODD THING...IT AFFECTS PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT WAYS BUT YOUR HEART HAS BARELY EVEN FORMED A SEAL...IT HAS BEEN TOO SOON AND YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOOOOO MUCH ....IN GRIEF YOU EXPERIENCE ALMOST THE SAME THINGS THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE TOLD THEY ARE GOING TO DIE.....DENIAL, QUESTIONING, ANGER, AND FINALLY ACCEPTANCE...THERE ARE 5 BUT I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT ONE OF THE STEPS ARE....AMY NEVER HAD ANGER AND NOT ONE TIME DID SHE ASK, WHY ME.
MOLLYE, IT HAS TAKEN ME 9 MONTHS TO EVEN BE ABLE TO START TO CREATE AGAIN....I FEEL LIKE A SMALL GREEN SHOOT SURROUNDED BY WHITE SNOW....IT MAY BE COLD AND SO LONELY WITHOUT AMY BUT JESUS IS GOING TO HELP ME THROUGH IT...........WHAT EXCITES ME EVEN WHEN I WAS NUMB IS LOOKING AT PEOPLE'S ART WORK ON THE INTERNET...ART IS SUCH A PASSION OF MINE AND SO WHEN I WAS JUST BURDENED WITH GRIEF I WOULD JUST LOOK AT ART WORK ON THE INTERNET.
EVEN IF YOU JUST SET IN A CHAIR AND WRITE JAKES NAME OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND DOODLE FUNNY J'S AND PUT SMILEY FACES IN THE A'S AND HANG TEARS OFF THE K AND ON E JUST KEEP A CONTINOUS LINE GOING ALL OVER THE PAGE...IF YOU FEEL LIKE SCRIBBLING....SCRIBBLE...EVEN IF YOU JUST DRAW A CIRCLE AND QUIT...DATE YOUR PAGES AND WHEN YOU LOOK BACK YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SEE ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF....AMY WANTED TO BE AN ART THERAPIST....THEY ARE FINDING THAT ART SAYS WHAT SEVERELY TRAUMATIZED PEOPLE CAN'T GET OUT IN WORDS.
I AM SOOOO VERY HERE FOR YOU. I MET ANOTHER MOTHER NAMED SHELIA WHOSE SON DIED IN FEB. OF THIS YEAR. I GAVE HER YOUR BLOG URL....AND TOLD HER WHAT AN AWESOME WOMAN YOU ARE AND YES, OKLAHOMA GRANNY IS A WONDERFUL FAMILY PERSON AND I LOVE HER PICTURES OF THE COUNTRY....BUT ANYWAY YOU ARE THE BABY OF THE GROUP....MEANING YOUR SON WENT TO HEAVEN THE MOST RECENT AND THEN SHELIA. I WISH SOMEONE WHO WAS COMPUTER SAVY, LIKE YOU, WOULD CREATE A BUTTON FOR A MOTHER WHOSE HAS HAD A CHILD DIE AND WE CAN READILY CHECK TO SEE HOW EACH OTHER IS DOING....AND A BUTTON FOR THOSE WHO HAVE SONS, DAUGHTERS, GRANDCHILDRENS, DAD, MOM IN THE MILITARY AND WE CAN PRAY FOR THE SAFETY OF THEIR LOVED ONE...I LOVE YOUR NEW BLOG HEADER AND HOW PRETTY YOU MADE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE
LOVE YOU MOLLYE
SIMPLY DEBBIE