FRIENDS

Friday, August 13, 2010

AND HOW IT IS NOW

JOYFUL



Yes a mere one hour later and I feel joyful.

These two posts were for a reason

To everyone who has remarked and graciously commented on your amazement of my strength, my ability to cope and my positive nature in the wake of my son Jake's death............I hope this will show just how my mood swings.

I am no different than any of you. Left to my own will, I would be a raving maniac, a woman lost in grief and dispair. Unable to get out of bed in the mornings and a smile would not exist. I would cry 24/7, moan, scream and not find life worth living

BUT

I have someone who is carrying this heavy load of grief for me. He walks with me daily, he listens to me, he lends his shoulder for me to cry on, he understands my grief, my sadness, my questions. His name is Jesus. He lets me scream when I need to and he places the most amazing people in my life. People who encourage, motivate, pray for us, love me, and give me the will to go on.

Every day since we buried my son has been a good day because I am alive. Everyday has also had sadness, tears and anguish. But the tears, the sadness and the anguish are coming further apart now. Each day is made up of about 90 per cent good and joyful and 10 percent of sadness. My sadness comes in little waves, they come in and they go out and the serenity of smooth sand remain. Calm. Not always happy but serene.

You see I have come to grips with the fact that my boy is still alive. Yes I said ALIVE. He resides in heaven and he is alive there. He did his job while he lived here on earth, but I have not finished. I have a job to do also. I don't know what it is, but I do know that if I let myself become sick I won't be able to do it. And I want to see him some day so I want to be well, willing and eager to live each day to the fullest.

And each one of you all help me do that. Thank You!

17 comments:

  1. My dear friend tis true, all of what you shared here makes things much easier for you I'm sure. And it also makes us all realize if it weren't for our Heavenly Father we'd suffer far more than we do under many circumstances!!! I love you sweetie...Holding you close to my heart!!!

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  2. I know you experience a variety of emotions every day, but thank goodness, the largest percentage is of good ones! Love you, Mollye!

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  3. It is said that we are to "cast our cares" & some days I can do this easier than others.
    My prayers are fervent & many for you Sweetie & you ARE a very strong woman.... a child of God!
    Love You,
    Marilyn

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  4. GOOD!!!! Glad you're back, sweetpea!
    xoxo,
    Connie

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  5. what a wonderful, truly uplifting testimony, mollye! you're such a special lady!

    love and hugs,
    terry lee

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  6. Oh sweet friend, isn't it wonderful that we have someone to lean on? I don't know what we would do without that promise of our forever life in Heaven! I pray that your heart mends as much as possible and that you will feel better day by day! Jack will always be with you here and you'll join him one day in Heaven! Hugs and prayers! Precious memories are forever!

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  7. It's me again, I mispelled Jake's name and he is important to me! Love you all!

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  8. When I think about you and all you are going through I feel like any problem I am having is so minor and so simple.I pray for you daily my friend and you are just going through all the emotions of this sad and difficult part of your life. I know you know this my the Lord walks with you every single step of the way. When it is the hardest you know He is carrying you. HUgs and Much Love Anne

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  9. I'm so glad that you are on the road to recovery and it is a road of recovery. But truly as long as you have Jesus leading the way your heart will be more happy than sad. It's really good to hear from you.

    Hugs XX
    Barbara
    Moore Whimsies

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  10. Take your time my friend, be gentle on yourself, walk through your grief then let your body heal, every day is different during the firt months after losing a loved one. Just ride the waves, feel the pain and the joy. All will be well Mollye I promise and I know Jake is there with you whenever you need him....:-)Hugs

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  11. Absolutely right my sweet friend. You are here for a very special reason.

    God Bless!

    Leann

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  12. Grief is like an ocean, it flows in and out, bringing with it a tidal wave of emotions. There is always the happy you behind it all. You just have to go with your feelings, naturally. I am so glad that you have your faith in Jesus. I am afraid mine has become a little diluted over time. I was brought up to have faith and had it in abundance when I was younger. Sometimes I wish I had more of it! I believe that there is 'something' else that we can't see, and that we are all here for a reason, and one of the reasons is a life purpose and the other is to learn. I send you my bestest hugs and wishes as ever Mollye. Susie xxxx

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  13. You are so right - no matter what, God is always with us and He is in control.

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  14. Amen to all of that dear friend! Thank you for your sweet comments on my blog and friendship. Praise God for sending Jesus to us and the strength he gives us each moment. Without Jesus we are lost, but with Him, we have everything we need. Love ya!....Beth

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  15. Praise God! I'm glad to hear you are doing better.

    ~Ron

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  16. I am glad you are more and more peaceful times. Yes the Lord is there for us to lean on, but sometimes the pain blinds us from the One that is always there.
    Love to you friend,
    Debbie

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  17. You are blessed with your Faith. I know that it hurts deeply and we all care about you. ((HUGS))

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